Married for the First Time After 40

It's hard to maintain hope when I'm 37 and never married. I have friends who didn't get married for the first time until 41, 43, and 45. (Other friends who are on their fifth husband at the age of 45. Whole other story). Back in the 70's, there was a fifty-something family friend married to a 27 year old man. She was a cougar before the term got popular.

Sometimes you want to give up hope and say what's the point. But, with life expectancy increasing and 50 being the new 30, 40 being the new 20, there will be opportunity to get married for the first time.

According to USA Today, "analysis of Census records of Americans ages 45-55 shows that the percentage of those who said they had never been married in 2006 had doubled since 1990, and the percentage of those who were currently married had dropped by 9%. Internet dating has largely made it possible for many of these later-life first marriages. It's only in recent years that some sites have started monitoring that demographic. Among them is Yahoo Personals, based in Santa Clara, Calif., which reports a 33% increase from January 2006 to November 2007 among users ages 45 and over who say they have never been married. Since 2005, Match.com reports an increase of almost 10% of new members 45 and older and who have never been married; these now make up almost 14% of its members."

Getting married for the first time over 40 means that you will have to rethink dreams and plans. You may have to adopt or become a stepmother. You and your husband may decide not have any children especially if he has some from a previous marriage. Getting used to sharing a life. Sharing space. Sharing a bathroom. No more single living that you have gotten accustomed to over the years.

Marriage over all these years can happen. There is hope. I've seen proof.