Being Brave

Single women are brave when they dine at a restaurant alone, go to the movies by themselves, traspe around the world solo, and sit in the church pews sans a boyfriend or a husband. It takes courage to do those things and not worry what others may be thinking. Since a lot of things are geared towards the couple, it’s easier to stay at home and be a hermit than venture out alone. Even if you have girlfriends to go out with, your schedule may not coincide with theirs. And, you don’t want to spend another night with cable. Yes, he is a reliable boyfriend. He doesn’t talk back and allows you to control him with a flick of a wrist. It’s easy to fall under his spell because he lets you wear sweatpants and no makeup. But, to explore new things and live life, we have to leave the confines of the girl cave.

Not saying we women need a badge of honor. Just an acknowledgement of how hard it can be to be a single in a double’s world. I admire those single women who buck the status quo and show up, make their presence known when most of the time they are invisible. I don’t care what people think when I eat at breakfast at my favorite mom and pop place or go see a good indie film that allows you to bring in your glass of Merlot with your popcorn. Being an only child has helped in this area too. With no siblings to rely on, I learned how to play alone. I found that I could entertain myself for hours. And, the days when my natural introversion takes over, it’s nice just to have a cup of coffee and read a book at the café without having to talk.

Church used to be hard with all the couples and families sitting together in their tight unit. Especially when the church didn’t have a singles ministry. I knew other singles existed but it was hard to find them if the congregation was big. I’m learning to get over it. But, it has been a slow process.

Being a single woman of certain age allows me to gain more confidence and learn to accept my status better. Doesn’t mean that I don’t get pangs to be part of a couple. But, it is not an overwhelming urge to find any guy to satisfy his role of joining me on social outings. It would have to be right guy especially after being in a recent bad relationship. After the breakup, I’m regaining traction and enjoying going out alone. I’ve joined different Meetup groups and have met other like-minded people. The groups allow me to have a packed social life or a quiet week of alone time if I’m not interested in that week’s activities.

It can be a challenge to navigate the social world as a single woman. But, we are not alone. We just need to find each other, encourage each other, and get each other through the tough times. Some married people are jealous of our freedom. We should remember that and see our singleness as a blessing and not a curse. When we remember that, it makes life easier.